As a freelance writer and blogger, I spend several hours online every day. When I’m not researching, I’m writing. When I’m not writing, I’m posting on FB. When I’m not posting on FB, I’m uploading pictures on Instagram. And in between, there’s the all-important task of checking and commenting on everyone else’s updates. It’s a necessary evil, this Social Media but all a part of the ‘job’.
Speaking of which, the reason I quit my other (full-time, banking) job was to look after my daughter. “I’ll take up something part time”, was what I had said; leading myself to (foolishly) believe that I would suddenly have all the time in the world to focus on her. Then came the writing bit followed by the blog, and I’m as hard-pressed for time as ever.
Why do I feel she is neglected at times? That I should be playing with her than (frantically) responding to messages that can wait. That I should be reading to her than browsing pregnancy updates and breastfeeding struggles of complete strangers. That I should be sleeping by her side than sitting on the couch counting the number of ‘likes’ my latest feed has garnered.
As I try to rise above this self-inflicted guilt, I also cannot help but think of instances when I’ve never forgotten to pack her preferred lunch. Or skipped a concert or meeting at school. Or missed an appointment: at the doctors’ or for a haircut. Or not stayed up the night when she has been sick. Or been so sick myself as to not kiss her good night.
Yet, the husband complains I’m becoming impatient. And it wouldn’t be (entirely) wrong to say that. Social Media does that to you.
I’m human and love a good ego-boost. I measure my FB likes from time to time, I enjoy responding to complete strangers on SM and it is downright thrilling when someone tags me in a post. Having said that, I’m doing this to promote my business, my current ‘job’, or so I’d like to believe. Having placed the interest of my family above everything else, it has not been easy giving up a career and with it, a ready stream of income. Here I am, trying to maintain my sanity and make the most of what I’m left with.
Side note: While the ‘job’ itself is not hip-n-happening at the moment, I’m hoping to get there eventually 😉
As a SAHM or otherwise, do you find yourself in a similar dilemma? Any tips to work smarter? Do you have allocated hours for ‘work’ and ‘fun’?